Communicating in Groups

After learning about the phases of how teams develop, I have reflected on the many teams I have been a part of in my own life. I realized that the hardest good-byes are the teams that made it to the high-performing levels. With those groups, we went though all the stages together. We had our ups (performing) and downs (storming), but we made it through and learned how to function well together.

The hardest team to adjourn would be my current one. I have been wanting to move closer to my family the past few years. Last spring, I decided to apply for some jobs near my family and told my principal that I may be leaving after the past school year. She was very understanding. So I was really excited with the potential of moving closer to home. But then I started thinking about my kindergarten team, the amazing colleagues in my school and how supportive our administrators and community are. That is SO rare. I was driving to school one morning and began to sob in tears thinking about leaving. As soon as I got to school, I went to my principal and told her that I couldn't bear the thought of leaving, so I was going to stay. She was so happy and my kindergarten team literally jumped and screamed in excitement over my decision. It was at that moment, I realized I am going to savor every moment I have at this school before some of us leave. When that time does come, I know it will be very hard to say goodbye because of all that we have been through together.

The job I had before my current one was at a preschool called Primrose Schools. The only reason I left that job was because I could not make a living off of it. I was still living with my parents and looking for a public school job so I could move out and pay my own bills. I worked there for a year and half before I found my current job. On my last day, I remember my boss hugging me tightly and crying. She told me that I was so good with children that she knew I was going to do great things. The owner of Primrose hugged me and actually gave me a gift. It was one of those little wooden angels that was holding book. (Made for teachers.) That gift meant so much to me because she didn't buy gifts for everyone that left. People came and went all the time there, but they knew how much I hated to leave b/c I loved working there. Parents brought me gifts and cards to wish me good luck and telling me thank you for taking such good care of their children. I developed great relationships with the children and families, as well as with my team members I worked with. I went back a few times after I left, but now all the children that I taught have left and are in kindergarten and above now, and most of the co-workers have moved on to new jobs. I tell myself if money wasn't a concern, I would go back to that job in a heartbeat. I loved it so much.

Most of the experiences I have from the teams I was a part of, ended with a ritual of some tears and hugs, going to dinner together or having a goodbye party. I have kept in touch with many of those people through Facebook.

To adjourn from the group of colleagues in the master's program, I think we will all have a time to thank our professors and each other for the support and challenges we overcame. I enjoy reading everyone's blogs and at the end of each course, thanking everyone for reading mine. I believe the adjourning phase is an essential phase of teamwork because it gives you that sense of closure. You won't hang onto any feelings that may have been left unsaid. It also gives people who may have had some negative feelings at one time, a chance to make a mends and move past the conflict they went through.

I can't believe in a just a few more months, we will be nearing the end of the master's program. But I am so excited about my future and the possibilities that lie ahead.

Managing Conflict in Relationships

"Healthy debate serves a real purpose in that it helps individuals and groups make smarter decisions. By skillfully working through conflicting ideas about how to solve a problem or reach a goal, we identify the best course of action" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

I could definitely relate to the portion of our text that discussed attitudes towards conflict. I am one that dislikes arguing and debate. I tend to gear away from politics, leave a room when I am upset and scream into a pillow when I am angry. One of my close colleagues says this is exactly why I have so many stomach issues, because I bottle everything up and the "negative energy" stays in my system. 

Recently I experienced some productive conflict with my colleagues during one of our planning meetings. My kindergarten team consists of 5 teachers (including myself) and we consider ourselves pretty good friends. I was nervous at the beginning of the school year because we were having some disagreements on what to teach the first week of school. I had all these great ideas in my mind, but they were squashed by my colleagues because it didn't follow the certain skills we had to cover. So I felt frustrated and upset that no one took my ideas into consideration. The next few planning days were equally as frustrating. I felt like I couldn't teach how I wanted and I was being told what to do.

So one day, I finally had enough and expressed my feelings to the team while our administrators were in the room. I didn't go off on a rant or tangent, but I expressed my concerns that clearly our classes were on different levels of learning. (Some of us felt some activities were too easy and some thought they were too hard for their students.) My administrators told us that as long as we are teaching the same skill, we can do whatever activities we want with our students. So I can put my own flair on my lessons and the same with my colleagues. This made our planning the rest of the month go much smoother because if we were a huge fan of a certain lesson, we knew we could "tweak it" to fit our teaching style and our students' learning needs. The great thing about this resolution is that we can share with each other how our lessons went and if they went really well, usually the other teachers will try it out with their kids too! We are very supportive of one another and that gives us a supportive climate to discuss our frustrations or concerns.

Strategies that I have learned about that might help me manage or resolve the conflict more productively would be cooperative strategies. We all benefited from agreeing to teach the same skill, but in our own ways. We also keep our focus on the issues. We don't take it personally and attack each other's teaching abilities. We all respect each other and work as a team so that we can do what is best for our students. 

Resources 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.Martin's.

My Communication Skills

After looking at the results of my own assessment on myself as a communicator and my mother's and colleague's view, I noticed some similarities and differences between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how others evaluated me. The one thing that surprised me the most was my mom and good friend/colleague thought I was a mildly anxious communicator and I believe I am moderately anxious. This must be because they believe because I am a teacher, they assume I am comfortable with speaking in front of groups of people, which I'm not. I enjoy teaching young children, but still get nervous at the beginning of every year when I'm getting to know my students. But most of my anxiety is communicating with adults. My least favorite day of the year is our first 1/2 day of school when I have to talk in front of all the parents and my students to introduce myself, discuss classroom and school rules/procedures. I feel adults are more critical of my communication skills than children.

I also learned that my mom, colleague and myself see me as a people-oriented listener. I want others to end their conversation with me, leaving happier or feeling better than they did before. I find myself "beating myself up" over something I may have said that the other person took wrong, or maybe my words didn't come out right a lot. I believe that is why I tend to be more on the shy side, because I always worry about how other's feel and don't want to make them feel bad. The only time I cut people off in mid-convo is when I have to go pick up my students from specials or lunch and I apologize when I do that but they understand that I can't be late b/c it affects the rest of the school if I don't pick my kids up on time.

When it comes to verbal aggression, I tend to be moderate in this area. ONLY when someone instigates it. I am very calm and happy person. But if someone says something ugly about me or someone I love, I will stand up for myself/them. I tend to keep quiet on any political issues because it does cause me to anxiety to get upset so I just stay out of it. I don't read message boards/comments on Facebook that are public because there area always the people out there who are bullies and it just gets me really upset. So I avoid confrontation when possible. But when it comes to doing what is right for children, I WILL stand up and let me voice be heard.

Communication between diverse cultures

"How many languages are there in the world? How about 5 billion! Each of us talks, listens, and thinks in his/her own special language that has been shaped by our culture, experiences, profession, personality, mores and attitudes. The chances of us meeting someone else who talks the exact same language is pretty remote."
-Anonymous

I communicate differently between different groups and cultures. For example, the way I talk to my students differs from how I talk to my colleagues. And the way I converse with my student's parents differ from how I talk to my own family.

This photo captures differences in communication. The man greets the woman by bowing to her, while she goes to shake his hand.

Due do the varying abilities between my students and adults, I tend to speak more slowly and my tone and inflecting in words are spoken differently to my students because they are so young. When I speak to my colleagues, I tend to use more low language because we are friends and comfortable with teach other. However, if my colleagues and I are in a meeting with parents or administrators, we would use more high-language to keep it professional in a professional context/situational setting. I also tend to dress up more professional at work and more causal when I'm just with friends and family (non-verbal).

I also speak to my parents in a loving and adoring ways because they are the most important people in my life and I high respect them. When I speak to my brothers and sisters, I tend to use more slang/low-language with them because we are best friends. When I speak to a student's parents, I would keep it professional and use high-language but keep the "educational verbage" at a low and speak in terms they would understand, which differs from how I speak to my colleagues and administrators.

This comic shows a true difference in communication between international cultures!

Being a single girl, I also speak differently to men than I do women. I am much more comfortable speaking around women and being myself because there is not pressure of dating. But especially around single men, I am more reserved and quiet because I get nervous and anxious. My nonverbal communication differs in this area as well. If I am in a situation where a lot of single men will be present, I would take more time on my physical appearance versus when I'm just hanging out with a group of girlfriends.

Nonverbal Communication in TV

I recorded an episode of Duck Dynasty this week and watched it with the sound turned off so I could observe the characters' relationships based on the ways in which they are communicating.

The episode started off with Psi dribbling a basketball while Martin, Godwin and Jase were standing there watching him. Psi shot the ball in the basketball hoop and I could tell he was pleased when he made the shot, then smiled as he made a shooting form with his hand and seemed to mouth "YES!" As the men stood around, they started to smile and laugh. Jep walked towards the group of men, and you see Psi point down at Jep's feet and then all the other's men glance towards the same direction. They seems to be grimacing and then we are shown Jep's ridiculous looking shoes that have some type of spring on the bottom of them (which I assume were for helping him improve his basketball skills?) Jep was smiling and hopping on his shoes, so whatever they were saying to him, did not seem to phase his happy attitude. Jase, Jep's older brother tends to be very sarcastic and funny on the show. Jase tends to tease and make fun of his brothers and friends on the show. So as Jep is hopping around on his shoes, we see Jase standing, leaning on one foot with his hand in one pocket and a basketball in the other while he grimaces, I can only imagine what he is thinking as his non-verbal cues show that he is amused and surprised by his brother, Jep.

Then you see Jase point to Jep's shoes and then held the ball like he was going to shoot it as Jep bent his knees slightly and looked at the hoop, like he was prepared to catch the ball after it was shot. But to my suprise, Jase tossed the ball so Jep could jump up and try to "dunk" the ball into the basketball hoop. Jep failed and ended up running into the basketball hoop's pole. It was pretty amusing, even without the sound.

Then Jep turns around to look at the other men after his failed attempt and they just stared at him blankly, and his facial cues showed some embarrassment. Then Jase pointed and said something to Jep, and then we see Jep walk away in his goofy basketball shoes with his head down "in shame".

I watched the facial expressions, eye behavior, and their gestures and body movement which gave me a lot to draw some conclucions of what was happening in the show.

 After watching the show with the sound turned on, I was able to have a better understanding by hearing the verbal communication between the men.
 Turns out I was correct in the men making fun of Jep and his new basketball shoes. They were teasing him because he is short and can't jump even with the shoes. But Jep is determined to prove the men wrong. They all bet that he couldn't dunk the ball, but if he did, they would all go and buy the same goofy basketball shoes and wear them if he could dunk it.

When Jep failed to dunk the ball, we didn't see Psi, but he said "Don't quit your day job 'Short stuff'!" (which I would haven't known at all because I didn't see any nonverbal cues b/c the camera wasn't showing Psi at the time.

So my assumptions would have been more correct if I had been listening to the show as well as watching it so I could listen to the verbal cues and non-verbal cues.

 I have gained some insight in that when we use both nonverbal and verbal cues to communicate, it helps us understand the other person (or people) we are trying to communicate with better. I can't imagine what it is like for someone who is deaf or blind and not have both senses to communicate with.
I found this to be an interesting assignment and look forward to hearing everyone else's experience in the course! Thanks for reading!
Jessica

Competent Communication

The first person that comes to mind that has competent communication in the education field would be my principal at the school I work at. She exhibits truthfulness, accuracy, honesty, and reason (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). She listens and is willing to learn from others (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). She strives to understand and respect those who she is communicating with before responding to their message (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012. She is strongly committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

The different modes of communication

This woman is amazing. She has taken a low-performing Title 1 school and helped make it to the top 5% in academic gains last school year in the state of Tennessee. We also found out that we are 1 of 3 schools that are in the running for a huge award for the entire state for our huge academic gains. She is the definition of someone who is an effective communicator by meeting goals (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

She has inspired the many teachers that work at our school to help our students reach goals that to others, may have seemed impossible. She is well-respected in my school system based on her professionalism and effective communication skills. I am striving to learn how to model my own communication behaviors after her, so that I can become a more effective teacher for my kindergarteners and their families.

Resources

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.Martin's.

Professional Hopes and Goals

I have really enjoyed becoming a part of this collaborative learning community. As someone who works with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds, it is my hope that I am able to recognize my personal biases and rid myself of them so I can best serve the children and families in my care. I have learned that I held biases towards families living in poverty that I didn't not realize until this course. Working in a Title 1 school with 90% of our students on free and reduced lunch, the majority of my students live in poverty and have been through more in their little 5 years of life that I ever have in my 29 years. I used to believe that parents who did not help their child with homework, attend parent-teacher conferences and check their folders every day were lazy and did not care about their child's education. I now know that is just an ignorant thought. After reading many articles this past year, I have discovered that many families living in poverty are working 2 or more part time jobs to make ends meet so they do not have any free time. I also learned that many of the families do not have resources like transportation to get to school so they are unable to attend school functions. Now that I know about my personal biases against families living in poverty, I am able to rid myself of these biases and developed more positive relationships with my students and their families.

It is my hope that as part of the early childhood field, all children receive a quality education with equity, appreciation of culture and social justice. Children and their families should be appreciated for their differences and what they offer that others cannot. All early childhood professionals must recognize the biases they hold and try to remove them as well. I believe if all educators were aware of what I have learned this past year, they too, would improve relationships with children and their families as well.

I want to personally thank you all for your kind comments and encouragement throughout this course. I have enjoyed getting to know you professional and hope to have more classes with you in the future.

Jessica