Communicating in Groups

After learning about the phases of how teams develop, I have reflected on the many teams I have been a part of in my own life. I realized that the hardest good-byes are the teams that made it to the high-performing levels. With those groups, we went though all the stages together. We had our ups (performing) and downs (storming), but we made it through and learned how to function well together.

The hardest team to adjourn would be my current one. I have been wanting to move closer to my family the past few years. Last spring, I decided to apply for some jobs near my family and told my principal that I may be leaving after the past school year. She was very understanding. So I was really excited with the potential of moving closer to home. But then I started thinking about my kindergarten team, the amazing colleagues in my school and how supportive our administrators and community are. That is SO rare. I was driving to school one morning and began to sob in tears thinking about leaving. As soon as I got to school, I went to my principal and told her that I couldn't bear the thought of leaving, so I was going to stay. She was so happy and my kindergarten team literally jumped and screamed in excitement over my decision. It was at that moment, I realized I am going to savor every moment I have at this school before some of us leave. When that time does come, I know it will be very hard to say goodbye because of all that we have been through together.

The job I had before my current one was at a preschool called Primrose Schools. The only reason I left that job was because I could not make a living off of it. I was still living with my parents and looking for a public school job so I could move out and pay my own bills. I worked there for a year and half before I found my current job. On my last day, I remember my boss hugging me tightly and crying. She told me that I was so good with children that she knew I was going to do great things. The owner of Primrose hugged me and actually gave me a gift. It was one of those little wooden angels that was holding book. (Made for teachers.) That gift meant so much to me because she didn't buy gifts for everyone that left. People came and went all the time there, but they knew how much I hated to leave b/c I loved working there. Parents brought me gifts and cards to wish me good luck and telling me thank you for taking such good care of their children. I developed great relationships with the children and families, as well as with my team members I worked with. I went back a few times after I left, but now all the children that I taught have left and are in kindergarten and above now, and most of the co-workers have moved on to new jobs. I tell myself if money wasn't a concern, I would go back to that job in a heartbeat. I loved it so much.

Most of the experiences I have from the teams I was a part of, ended with a ritual of some tears and hugs, going to dinner together or having a goodbye party. I have kept in touch with many of those people through Facebook.

To adjourn from the group of colleagues in the master's program, I think we will all have a time to thank our professors and each other for the support and challenges we overcame. I enjoy reading everyone's blogs and at the end of each course, thanking everyone for reading mine. I believe the adjourning phase is an essential phase of teamwork because it gives you that sense of closure. You won't hang onto any feelings that may have been left unsaid. It also gives people who may have had some negative feelings at one time, a chance to make a mends and move past the conflict they went through.

I can't believe in a just a few more months, we will be nearing the end of the master's program. But I am so excited about my future and the possibilities that lie ahead.

Managing Conflict in Relationships

"Healthy debate serves a real purpose in that it helps individuals and groups make smarter decisions. By skillfully working through conflicting ideas about how to solve a problem or reach a goal, we identify the best course of action" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

I could definitely relate to the portion of our text that discussed attitudes towards conflict. I am one that dislikes arguing and debate. I tend to gear away from politics, leave a room when I am upset and scream into a pillow when I am angry. One of my close colleagues says this is exactly why I have so many stomach issues, because I bottle everything up and the "negative energy" stays in my system. 

Recently I experienced some productive conflict with my colleagues during one of our planning meetings. My kindergarten team consists of 5 teachers (including myself) and we consider ourselves pretty good friends. I was nervous at the beginning of the school year because we were having some disagreements on what to teach the first week of school. I had all these great ideas in my mind, but they were squashed by my colleagues because it didn't follow the certain skills we had to cover. So I felt frustrated and upset that no one took my ideas into consideration. The next few planning days were equally as frustrating. I felt like I couldn't teach how I wanted and I was being told what to do.

So one day, I finally had enough and expressed my feelings to the team while our administrators were in the room. I didn't go off on a rant or tangent, but I expressed my concerns that clearly our classes were on different levels of learning. (Some of us felt some activities were too easy and some thought they were too hard for their students.) My administrators told us that as long as we are teaching the same skill, we can do whatever activities we want with our students. So I can put my own flair on my lessons and the same with my colleagues. This made our planning the rest of the month go much smoother because if we were a huge fan of a certain lesson, we knew we could "tweak it" to fit our teaching style and our students' learning needs. The great thing about this resolution is that we can share with each other how our lessons went and if they went really well, usually the other teachers will try it out with their kids too! We are very supportive of one another and that gives us a supportive climate to discuss our frustrations or concerns.

Strategies that I have learned about that might help me manage or resolve the conflict more productively would be cooperative strategies. We all benefited from agreeing to teach the same skill, but in our own ways. We also keep our focus on the issues. We don't take it personally and attack each other's teaching abilities. We all respect each other and work as a team so that we can do what is best for our students. 

Resources 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.Martin's.